


The Crackpots and the Carrot

by pipisafoat



Series: Abby Lyman [12]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Canon Disabled Character, Disability, Disabled Character, Donna is Donna, Gen, Hiring, Humor, Josh Tries Hard But Fails, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Animals, Service Dogs, White House, invisible disability, panic disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipisafoat/pseuds/pipisafoat
Summary: Josh tries to hire a new assistant, Donna laughs so hard it's possible she pees*, and a carrot goes an adventure.*it is up to you, the reader, to decide if this happens. please feel welcomed to share your opinions in comments!





	The Crackpots and the Carrot

**Author's Note:**

> HI just a quick note on language in the title. I'm not personally a fan of the word "crackpots" and don't use it. However, my naming scheme is largely based on episode titles, and The Powers That Be used that word in the episode title that fit this fic best. I would apologize for using it, but it's clear (from the fact that I chose to use it) that I'm not actually that sorry. I made this choice after examination showed me that, to the best of my understanding, "crackpot" is not used to further disempower any disenfranchised or minority group. If anybody can show me information to the contrary, I would absolutely love to learn from you and correct my language.
> 
> ON WITH THE FIC!

“Okay, so how do I find a new assistant?” Josh asks, taking a bite of his perfectly burnt burger and raising his eyebrows at Donna across his desk. 

She looks at him with wide eyes for long enough that he finishes chewing and swallows. As he opens his mouth to ask why she’s staring, she finally speaks. “Seriously?”

“Uh, yeah? You’re moving, which is great for you but, professionally speaking, the end of my office’s ability to function. I’m pretty sure I can’t find someone like you, but I do need someone to answer the phone.”

“And you’re asking me how you should go about the search.”

He nods, sure his confusion is showing on his face. “Who should I ask then?”

“Josh.”

He blinks slowly. “Yes?”

“You think you should look for a new assistant.”

“Yes?” he repeats. “Donna, you’re actually irreplaceable, but I still have to find someone for the job.”

The last thing he was expecting after telling her that was laughter, but that’s what he gets. She laughs so hard her hand falls on the edge of her salad dish, launching lettuce all over his desk and landing a piece of carrot on his fries. He decides to leave it there for her to find when she inevitably steals the fries. On second thought, he sets down his burger and eats some fries, carefully avoiding the carrot. Get them now while she won’t nag him about blood pressure. 

“Is there any chance you’ll stop laughing and tell me what’s so funny at any point?” he asks after an entire minute passes and she shows no sign of stopping. 

She holds up a finger and visibly tries to pull herself together, though it ends up taking three tries and another two whole minutes. “Sorry,” she says finally, mirth still all over her face. “Just ... you? Hire somebody? Josh, I’ve hired all of your support staff, including myself. Do you have any idea what to look for in a resume or a person?”

He thinks for a second. “Not a clue. So can you teach me that, too?”

She laughs again but pulls herself together much quicker this time. “You’re still playing catch-up from your week away. When are you going to find the time for any of this?”

“Uh.”

“Yeah. So can I trust you not to get upset if I tell you that I’ve already advertised the position and started going through the first few resumes?”

He sighs and drops his hamburger in the takeout tray, leaning back in his chair. “Upset? How about massively relieved?”

“And grateful?”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t hesitate. “And grateful.”

“Grateful enough for a raise?”

“Wha- You-“ Josh laughs. “Seriously? Your time under me is measured in weeks, and you’re still angling for a raise?”

Donna grins at him, and he returns it, savoring the moment of stress-free happiness. He glances briefly at Abby, happy to see her enjoying a nap. “Josh, I’m a girl on a budget,” Donna says in a familiar tone - teasing but with an undercurrent of seriousness. “Every little bit helps, you know.”

“Well, you’re about to get a sizeable pay hike from Leo,” he returns, making a mental note to ask his boss about a raise for Donna in the meanwhile. “So how are the resumes going?”

“So far, so average,” she replies, reaching for his fries. He stifles a grin when he sees just where her hand lands. “Nobody worth hiring for someone like you.” She puts the fries in her mouth, starts chewing, then freezes with a strange look on her face. After darting a look toward the doors - both closed - she reaches into her mostly-closed mouth and pulls out a small object, chewing and swallowing the rest of her fries. “Is this a carrot?”


End file.
